Sunshine Found!

Only 186 shopping days left! Not that I am keeping track of the number of days until doomsday (the big 40) but it does haunt me on a daily basis. I will attempt to make the most of the next few months and hang on to my ever fleeting youth and try not to bitch too terribly about the dreadful English weather. I will focus on the positive instead and share with you a little bit about our ski trip to the Dolomite's. I think it is quite ironic that I had to travel to the Italian Alps at 1563 meters above sea level to find some sunshine but I did and it was glorious. Yes! Not a cloud in the sky. Hallelujah!

I did not learn to ski until I was 35. I will not go into the details but bearing down on 40 years of age I am still a work in progress. I have a natural fear of skiing and so I ski quite slow and with much trepidation. My husband has dubbed me "slowski" and he patiently waits for me at each bend. My feelings are not hurt as I know all too well my shortcomings. No one has ever described me as graceful, elegant or athletic. When I fall as I do frequently it is spectacular! I usually lose one ski and go "end over tin cup" as my grand mother would say. This is why I make a note to examine the safety equipment (see picture above) and frequently remind my beloved that if he cannot find me and sees an orange toboggan headed down hill to follow it to the nearest A & E. Always, after a day of skiing I am exhilarated at still being alive and in one piece amazed to walk off on my own two feet. I ski for many reasons none of which have to do with the love of skiing. It is something that Mr. Jeopardy loves to do and I hate being accused of being a party-pooper, Apres-ski is the most fun which is essentially a big happy hour after a day on the slopes and of course the long, leisurely lunches filled with red wine and heavy food which justify the carbs needed for the exercise. Yes indeedy, it does take allot of energy to get up from one of my falls. One must carb up with pasta and french fries to survive the day.

You would think with sunshine and unlimited alcohol I would have nothing to complain about but au contraire! Italy has so many pluses besides the sun and food but I would unequivocally, without a doubt refuse to drive there-ever. It is the land of Mario Andretti wannabes who have no fear for their own lives or the lives of any foreigners who happen to be on the road with them. Those of you who have been to Italy know what I am talking about. The drive to and from the resort is treacherous because of the Italian need for speed and the desire to break all road laws which include passing on solid lines, passing on curves, whipping in and out of lanes and the apparent disregard for anyone else on the road. I am not exaggerating. Mr. Jeopardy who is rarely if ever ruffled by anything let out a few "Jeeeeesus Christs!" on the way up and down the mountain. This is a significant exclamation by Mr. calm, cool and always collected. To put it in the larger perspective- my husband NEVER gets flustered or upset and believe me I have tried! This is the same man that has two speeding tickets already in England and has had to take a speed awareness course to have one of the removed. Now granted he did not raise his voice when he swore but just the fact that he did swear was big event. Luckily, we made it out with only a small incident. I am happy to report that we are now tied evenly for having lost a side view mirror since moving abroad. Mine was in the course of everyday driving while Mr. Jeopardy lost his while trying to avoid a truck coming straight at us thus hitting a pole on the side of the mountain. Tee Hee! My picture above serves as proof of his fallibility.

Upon returning to Old Blighty I called my parents to check in.

Hi mom......"Bob pick up the phone it's Margie". The dog who was laying next to me looked up from his nap as my moms yell could be heard through the phone. I waited for the inevitable rattle of the extension as my father picked up. "How come you never call here anymore?" my father asked. Dad, I call once a week, Jeff and I were skiing so we were out of town. "You used to call more before you moved"my mother said, the accusation in her voice. "It would be nice to know our first born is alive and well." Oh boy, here we go again I thought. "Why does he insist on taking you skiing? You know you are not the most graceful person. Your an accident waiting to happen." I know, I know mom but we had fun and I am fine".

My father interrupted our conversation with "hey are those Basque terrorists still around?" My father is quite well known in our family for interjecting into conversations with random thoughts that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. You mean the ETA dad? What are you worried about? "Well I don't want to be visiting Spain with those idiots running around blowing everyone up." I cannot see the ETA targeting us in Southern Spain dad. I think you would have a greater chance being hit by a car while walking the dogs. "Well your mother and I are keeping an eye on the news." Dad, I think we will be OK, I think they target only the large tourist cities, we will be safe in Andalusia. "Tell Margie what you want to see while we are there Bob", my mother was now piping in again. "I would really like to get back to Gibraltar and see the apes." What apes are you talking about Dad? He has really lost it I was thinking, how quickly can I wrap up this conversation with minimal damage. "When your father was in the navy he went to Gibraltar and saw the wild apes" my mother said. The thing about my mother is she is very gullible and for 40 years has believed everything my father has told her. I believe this is the reason their marriage has lasted so long. "See I was the only one that went up to see them at the time. No one else wanted to see them. If the apes die off the British will lose the island."

Dad, let me get this straight. Over 40 years ago you saw some apes on Gibraltar off of southern Spain while stationed in the Navy and you want to go back there? "That's what I have been trying to tell you my father said." Whatever you want dad, I don't think we will run into any Basque Separatist's on an ape island I added. I told my parents I loved them and hung up worrying about their mental health which is often the case. I walked upstairs and my beloved was working at his desk. "How is your dad and mom?" Well mom says I don't call enough and dad is worried about the ETA bombing us while in Spain. My husband raised one eyebrow before looking back to his work. Oh, and dad wants to see the apes on the rock of Gibraltar. He claims he was there in the Navy and it is only a few hours from where we will be staying. I waited for his reaction. "Well that will be interesting, apes huh?" said my beloved. He is an expert on staying on neutral ground where my parents are concerned. The Swiss would envy him his impartiality.

I walked into our bedroom exhausted from our ski holiday. As I turned back the covers my eye caught my EYEWITNESS TRAVEL GUIDE-SPAIN which I had bought to prepare for my parents arrival in June. I found myself looking in the index for the section on Gibraltar. On page 448 I read with disbelief the following:

"The Apes' Den, near Europa Point, Gibraltar's southernmost tip, is home to the tailless apes. Legend says that the British will keep the Rock only as long as the apes remain there. Sir Winston Churchill added to the apes numbers during the second world war and had more imported from Morocco. Today, they number over 200."

It is seldom I find myself at a loss for words............