Friends and Family- Remember how my beloved told me that it did not snow in England which was one of the many advantages of moving to Old Blighty. Hah! I guess we all know who the sucker is in this relationship especially after the evening we just experienced. What we can confirm is that England is not prepared for nor can deal with snow in any shape or form. I barely made it home in my little English car when it all started to go downhill. This is ironic as I was trying to go uphill in heavily falling snow. I struggled up our little country lane and managed to bypass the tractor which was coming straight at me. Where are the salt trucks? Where are the snow plows? Damn! That's right I am in England where it does not snow, just supposedly rains incessantly.
Those of you who know me understand that I am not the worlds best driver. Driving on the left completely throws me for a loop when it comes to judging distance. As I spurted up the lane I turned a little too early in our drive and rolled back down the hill. It took me 20 minutes of burning up my motor to make it in the driveway. All I could smell was burning rubber and exhaust. I was trying to leave room for Mr. Jeopardy's car which was sure to follow. I had left 3 messages imploring him to come home because of the roads. The poor young man on the tractor stopped to help to no avail. "Ma'am he advised, it is probably best to leave it where it is rather than tear up more of your yard." Looking at the picture above I should have listened to him. The two green furrows in the picture are indeed evidence of my stubbornness. We will not mention this little episode to the landlord. After all, maybe he won't notice the ruts.
I called my beloved while my attempts to turn into the driveway were unsuccessful. "The roads are fine, I don't know what your talking about. I will be home in a few minutes." I briefly explained my dilemma and inability to get into the driveway. "Well as long as your not in the yard we can get it out in the morning." Oopsies........
I tore up the yard and went into the house to regroup. My faithful companion Shadow was going crazy. He loves the snow and had enjoyed frolicking around my car in the drifts as I attempted numerous attempts at traction. I had just changed and was ready to pour myself a big glass of wine when my sweetheart phoned. "I had to abandon the car." What??? I thought you were minutes away? "Well there is no way anyone is making it over the hill. I parked in a drift and am hiking it to the pub." Are you ok I asked? "I am fine I have my umbrella and rubber soled shoes on. I will call a tow truck from the pub." Click.....I heard the dial tone.
Now I was frantic. Mr. Jeopardy never dressed for the weather. I could just imagine him without gloves or a hat in his dress shoes hiking a mile up the hill to our local pub. He would freeze to death trying to make his way through the drifts. He obviously needed me and I sprang into action! I ran upstairs to the 3rd floor and our ski bag. I put on ski pants, gloves, face mask, jacket and ran to pack a bag for Jeff. Shadow was jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean with diarrhea. He thought we were going for a walk. No, I told him. You will slow me down and slide in front of a car. You cannot come. He cocked his head and looked at me like I would certainly fail if I left without him. I left hurriedly with what I felt were essentials and was out the door on my way to make the two mile trek to the pub to save my beloved. I worried briefly what would happen to my canine companion if I did not return and pushing those terrible thoughts from my head.....I was out the door.
I made it down the lane to the main road where I encountered three men pushing a car out of the ditch. Tell him not to try to make it up Honey Lane I yelled. It's unpassable." We know we told the idiot that before he got stuck in the ditch. Where are you headed?" I told them I was delivering boots, gloves and a hat to my beloved who was stuck at the pub two miles up the road. "My wife is there as well so you can walk with my sons and I." We proceeded with our flashlights through the blinding snow. I had memories of that horrible Little House on the Prairie episode where there was a sudden blizzard and the the townsfolk went to the school house to look for the children but they had already been dismissed so Mr. Edwards and Charles went out with lanterns to search for Mary and Laura. Don't worry my love I am coming for you I thought. We trekked down Henley lane passed lines of stalled and abandoned cars. Our one saving grace is that no matter where you are in England you are just a stones throw from a pub. Hopefully Mr. Jeopardy had reached the Red Lyon and was warming up with a pint of Guiness as I trudged through the snow to rescue him.
The four of us (brave souls that we were) journeyed down the main road passing abandoned cars and people with false hope sitting and waiting for someone, somewhere to rescue them. After trudging on for a mile we saw a figure coming at us down the hill moving briskly with an umbrella to shield them from the snow. I recognized that brisk pace anywhere as my sweethearts walk and ran to him. Honey, honey I brought you boots, a hat and scarf honey, gloves too. Are you ok? "I am fine. What are you doing out here in the snow?" Are you going to stop and put on your boots I asked? "I made it this far just keep walking, hurry up your slowing me down" he replied. I had to half trot to keep up with him. I came to rescue you I told him. "I can see that honey but you are slow so try and keep up ok?"
Sigh, we were almost home when a phone started to ring. Whose phone is that I asked? "I don't know I found it in the snow in the middle of the road. Someone must have dropped it after abandoning their car." Well aren't you going to answer it? He handed me the phone and pressed on reminding me to try to keep up.
Hello? "Hello, who is this?" asked a woman's voice. Hi, we found this phone on the road in the snow. "Are you with my husband? This is my husbands phone. I am his wife." Oh well, no I am actually following my husband home. He had to abandon his vehicle and we are walking home. Your husband probably abandoned his car too and dropped his phone while walking. Let me give you our home number so he can retrieve his phone when the snow clears. "Do you know where he is now?" No, but he can reach us at this number....... "Well where did you find his phone? Do you know where his car is? Is he alone?" My husband was telling me to hang up. "Honey! Why do you think I did not answer the phone? Call them when we get inside!" I hurriedly hung up my do-goodeness done for the evening.
We finally made it up the driveway and I was exhausted. "What on earth did you do to the grass honey? Could you not see the driveway?" I hurried in the house to my canine friend. Shadow was ecstatic to see me again. He did not care about the state of the front yard only that I had arrived home to be with him. He barked and jumped happily. At least someone, somewhere was thrilled to see me. This someone just happened to have four legs and bad breath and did not care if I ruined the yard.
