The British Airing Cupboard.....Who would have guessed?

OMG! Have you ever had an epiphany? A moment when all the little pieces fall into place? An ahah, now I have got it by golly!

Yup, I have just had one of those. I feel like Sherlock Holmes, Magnum PI, Angela Landsbury and Columbo all rolled into one. Magnum is certainly my favorite, like me he could be slow at putting 2 plus 2 together but he always managed to look good doing it. I would even argue that Mr. Jeopardy is much like Higgins (all knowing and condescending at times) But once again I digress.......

After my last blog venting about the dreaded washer/dryer combo unit which comes with the new Hurley house I received some e-mails of support from expat friends from the Thames Valley American Woman's Club who are eighty members strong. The first was from my friend Candida who put things into perspective for me.

"I think your next step should be living in Hong Kong. You have had the perfect training.
Land is at a real premium in Hong Kong, so everyone (well almost everyone except for multi-multi-millionaires) lives in high rise blocks in small apartments. They are really expensive to rent and everyone lives in a much smaller space – no room for American style appliances or laundry rooms. They sell even smaller appliances than in the UK, since space is a real premium. Virtually nobody has a drier, instead you have this little drying rack which is fixed to the wall outside your kitchen or bathroom window and you pin all your laundry to that before you go to work. When you come home you take in your lovely dry washing. Or maybe not? If it has been a windy day and you haven’t pinned it on really well, there is considerably less washing on the drying rack than there was in the morning! Also bear in mind that the higher up you live, the stronger the wind is (we lived on the 24th floor). In the summer it rains constantly and it is 99% humidity, so nothing ever dries outside. We thought we were really lucky because we had 2 bathrooms which was a luxury compared to most of our friends, however we learnt very soon that the best use for the 2nd bathroom was as a drying room. I also invested in a really lovely chromed drying rack, which I shipped back to the UK when we returned. This next bit will really make you Americans laugh – of course this stylish rack was well used back in the UK, so when we moved to the USA we shipped it with all our other essential possessions. The house we rented in the USA I had only seen in the pictures on the internet, so you can imagine how excited I was when I saw the upstairs laundry room which was the size of a UK single bedroom, with the huge washer and separate drier and a built in drying rack. Needless to say my chrome drying rack which had been transported to its 3rd continent was never unpacked, but I couldn't’t be parted from it so it was shipped back with us to the UK when we moved back.
I still really miss my American laundry room and probably will for the rest of my life!"

After receiving that e-mail I felt a little bad complaining about my issues. At least my delicates were not flying over the streets of Hong Kong. Perhaps that is why all the good dry cleaners are of Asian descent. No tickee no washee for you! Maybe everyone sends their laundry out since there are no dryers to be had, hmmm...hence the need for many good Asian dry cleaners.

Then, I received another e-mail from Patricia who just melted her child's mattress protector yesterday in one of these deadly contraptions. "And I decided just this afternoon to wash Leilani's bedding and use the combo dryer too, instead of hanging it out on the rotary dryer outside (because that's where Leilani's stuffed animals are hanging to dry) By bedtime her bedstuff was not dry yet, that steamy damp stuff, as you describe! So Tony came home and gave it yet another good whack of drying and guess what? the rubber/plastic in the mattress protector started melting together! It was DRY but pretty warped to put back on the bed. I think we'll have to go and buy another one. I NEVER use the dryer, and I find our friends (Brits!) tend to hang their stuff all over the house to dry (undies over the chandelier, bras hanging from candlesticks...) ... my 88yr old mother thinks it's a disgrace, all the laundry hanging all over the house. Lucky for us we have the airing closet, nice and toasty and that's where my wash gets its final dry cycle".

Honestly, you cannot make this stuff up if you tried. All my friends and family who think we are living the high life overseas can sit back with their giant Maytag's and private laundry rooms and laugh their asses off.

It's a good thing Patricia has an airing cupboard I thought. Hmmmm.....wait I am having a Magnum PI moment. Where is TC and Rick to celebrate? Where is Higgins to scowl? Oh wait there he is- "Honey, do we have an airing cupboard?" "You know we do" Mr. Jeopardy replied, "it is where we store the luggage." What? Here I was wondering why that closet upstairs was always so hot inside. As a matter of fact, I was worried that the hot water tank was running too hot since the closet was so warm. It may be a potential fire hazard. I also wondered why the shelf installed in the closet had slats instead of solid shelving. "How was I supposed to know we had an airing cupboard?

"Did you know that is where we are supposed to put damp towels and hard to dry items?" My beloved looked at me like I was a moron. "Honey, every house in Britain has an airing cupboard but we use ours to store our luggage." This remark from the man who has not done a load of laundry on his own while I have resided in the same house and who I am convinced married me for just such a purpose.

I went upstairs for a closer look. Suitcases were stacked on the drying shelf. It really was very toasty in there. Wow, we really do have a drying cupboard. Now I finally understand what the dial selection on the washer/dryer combo unit means which represents cupboard dry. I could not for the life of me understand why anyone in their right mind would put their clothes away damp.

"Higgins! Oops, honey why don't we use this to dry things instead of leaving them hanging in the kitchen on the drying rack?" "Well where do you think you will put our luggage and vacuum and everything else you have shoved in there?" he replied.

Sigh... what do you call it when you have an epiphany for naught? My answer is vent and have another glass of wine

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Magnum_PI.html

How to get the most from your Integrated Washer Dryer

Well, it has been one month since our move from the little hobbit house to the Hurley, Berkshire house. I have come to realize that there is much compromise when choosing a rental home in England. Unless you are David and Victoria Beckham, a bailed out London financier or other like-minded multi millionaire your choices are going to be limited in Old Blimey. There is simply nowhere near the plethora of homes and upgrades to choose from compared to the States. The over population and limited land truly limit your choices when you need to be close to London and Heathrow airport as we do for work. However, after much back and forth and several tours of homes which were deemed unacceptable by Mr. Jeopardy we finally settled on our little gem.


What has changed you ask? Well I am happy to go through the pluses and minuses with you especially the major minus, the bain of my existence and the subject of this current blog.

The pluses in order of importance are-

• 2.5 baths!!! an upgrade from hobbit house 1 and 1/4 baths of which I was assigned the 1/4 located in the laundry room next to the washer and dryer (an ideal location)


• A large kitchen and living area downstairs, an upgrade from no room for a table in our last kitchen and having to walk through the living area to reach a table to a large table big enough for six chairs in the kitchen!


• A large backyard for Shadow to run through and bark endlessly at imaginary creatures


• A guest bedroom on the 3rd floor allowing us to sequester any in-laws visiting for extended periods of time (this was a big plus for Mr. Jeopardy as my parents will be here for several weeks next June)


• A quiet little country village with two pubs and one main street where the post office shares space with the local hairdresser. It is perfectly located on the Thames and within easy reach of major motorways and 10 minutes from the train station. We have few neighbors and much peace and quiet.


• I have an office! This is a major upgrade from the hobbit house where my office was the dining room which of course meant we could never eat in the dining room. Who wants to eat sitting next to a printer and fax? Now, (although it is technically not an actual room) I have been allocated space on the 3rd floor landing which has just enough room for my things and although the wifi reception is not the best up in my little perch I manage.

Now for the minuses in no specific order-

• No garage (we have crammed everything into a little shed in the backyard)
• A English size refrigerator (we now have two and considering a 3rd) and yes they are that small!
• A 4 burner electric stove which is a major downgrade for Chef Jeff who had a six burner gas stove at the hobbit house
• No pizza delivery in Hurley (a major tragedy in Mr. Jeopardy's viewpoint)

Last, but certainly not least the thorn in my side, bain of my existence and worst appliance ever engineered in the UK- the combo washer/dryer unit. Until I moved to England I had no idea that such a contraption even existed. I only wish I could have remained ignorant to it's existence. Instead it has a place of honor in my kitchen next to the dishwasher and kitchen sink.

The booklet itself is titled "How to get the most from your Integrated Washer Dryer". It is 37 pages which after having read through several times I still do not comprehend. A more appropriate title would be "How to wash one tiny load of clothes a day for hours on end and have a steamy, damp, wrinkled mess to show for it." I personally do not believe that any dial should have 21 separate wash/dry options on it. It just is not right.

My first encounter with this beast alerted me that we were in for trouble. Two days after moving in we had a flood caused by the plumber having failed to secure the pipe into the upstairs shower trap. I found every old towel we possessed and laid them down to soak up the water before leaving for work. When I returned that evening I placed 5 towels in the old W/D combo and set it for a 60 degree wash to be followed by a liberal 120 minute dry cycle. My beloved ever so helpfully commented "Oh honey that's nice. It does it all for you and you don't even need to take them out of the washer and put the towels in a separate dryer. It will save you time." If he only knew how naive he sounded. Four hours later the combo "time saving" unit beeped signalling it was done. I opened the door to find a soaking mess and a steamy sauna-like atmosphere. I debated keeping my face in the combo unit to steam out my pores or do the logical thing and set it for another 120 minutes and go to bed. I went to bed. The next morning the towels were still damp enough to be considered downright "wet". I put them on my new best friend (a drying rack)and went to work.

Since that time it has been a day to day irritation to say the least. I dream of returning to America and my mega-washer and dryer into which one can throw shoes, coats and duvets and they come out clean and dry after 45 minutes. The average wash-dry cycle on this English contraption takes 4-6 hours. The drum is so small you can only do a very small handful of clothes at a time. The hard water area we live in requires I use a fabric softener, color safe cleaning tablets and a hard water softener tablet. This adds up to a very expensive proposition.

My beloved who I can usually describe in the most glowing of terms has been no help whatsoever. He has suggested a clothes line for those oh so bountiful sunny English days and he has assumed that an imaginary house keeper exists who would be here to hang up and take down the clothes. After that he suggested that I take his bluejeans to the dry cleaner to be pressed since they come out so wrinkled nowadays. He did come to my rescue recently after possibly being alerted by my screams of frustration in the kitchen. I had attempted a daring move- a separate wash and a delayed drying cycle allowing me to remove certain items that needed drying flat. Instead it went directly into a second wash cycle and my husband grabbed the booklet out of my hand and quickly took charge of the situation. "Honey, you cannot put a time cycle on the dryer using this button you need to use the second one and turn this one to off first." Only another engineer could understand this gibberish concocted by other engineers.

How do I handle it? I pour a large glass of wine each night, go into my full bathroom and take a bubble bath in my new tub. It's all about compromise.....